Different but equal
The US wants to be a meritocracy, and part of that is believing that anyone can do anything. But then what do we mean by merit?
When I first came to Silicon Valley I had big dreams, but needed a paycheck. So I built a nanny business for high-IQ kids with behavioral problems. My favorite phrase whenever the kids got into a fight was “different but equal”. Because it resolved 99% of childhood disputes.
Turns out it works on adult ones too.
Photo by Martin Longin on Unsplash
Yes, I earned my Delinquent Savant™ stripes as a nanny not a CEO. (Well-earned incidentally, I’ve heard before that Calvin, from Calvin & Hobbes is a prototype gifted child :)
I still dabble in nannying occasionally because kids are fun. But gifted kids (of any age) present a genuine series of distressing puzzlers. If I was to characterize my nanny business I would say it was “teaching smart kids how to stop outsmarting adults”. Or maybe “where the limits of ‘smart’ really lie”. And the lessons that work for kids, work for adults.
If anyone has read the literature on gifted children — and many worried parents have — they have encountered terms like “asynchronous development” and “emotional needs of the gifted”. But it doesn’t really matter what you call the problem, the solution remains the same. Different but equal.
The end to any dispute between a gifted kid and their sibling was always that phrase. Because it caught the problem neatly, and solved it at the same time.
Why different?
When we make everyone be the same —perform at the same level, run at the same speed, sing the same song, or wear the same clothes — we are so obviously divergent on objective metrics that we can only be interpreted as unequal.
If everyone is the same, then the person who sang a more harmonious song must have tried harder, had more loving parents, or gotten more coaching. Maybe they were just better.
But if we are simply different then we are free to be equal. One person sang more melodious than another, they were different. It didn’t change anyones worth. Maybe some coaching would narrow the gap, maybe not. Do they both like to sing? Let’s climb a tree now.
In other words, its okay to have a gift. If someone is born with the ability to run faster than their neighbor. It doesn’t make them any better or worse than anyone else. It just makes them different. No special value, and in a perfect society no special perks. But it does mean they run faster. They should get to run at their own pace. A fast runner, trains at higher speeds, motivates themselves with peers, and when they reach mastery, they run their own race against their individual best.
We are all different but equal. High-IQ individuals need to solve hard cognitive problems. That does not make them better people, but it does mean they are different and they need different work.
Why EQUAL?
Just because we’re inept at something, doesn’t mean we shouldn’t do it.
Aptitude, skill, and interest are independent spectrums. People of high-aptitude still must train to reach peak performance. People with low-aptitude, and strong interest can reach high-performance by enhancing their skill. Most people who make it to the Olympics, perform in the worlds finest conservatories, and solve our hardest physics problem have all three. But that does not mean one area of excellence is their only interest or aptitude.
We all have things we’re not great at. In many ways, it is the human condition to do things every day you feel insufficient to do. In fact, most people who are experts in their field will tell you that it can be quite pleasurable to have the freedom to do something very badly. Beginners don’t carry the same level of responsibility.
This freedom returns again with mastery. True masters of any craft report that they reached a state where the activity they studied gave them solace, not its outcome. Objective metrics of performance can guide training, and measure ability, but at the end of the day they do not confer value.
Value is inherent in any practitioner. And it can be found at any level of endeavor. There are many freedoms in being a novice and one of them is the pleasure of learning from someone else. Being inspired by everyday achievement, awed by the otherworldly performance of a companion, or humbled by finding out we were wrong can be its own pleasure.
We are all different but equal. Anyone can enhance and grow their aptitudes if they have an interest.
on merit
Its beneficial at any life stage to drop ego and become a student in a new discipline or art. However, we should not confuse egalitarian access to learning with egalitarian achievement. It’s okay to have objective metrics for performance, and its okay for people to perform differently on those metrics.
Without recognition of mastery in a field, how can we reach outside ourselves, beyond our limits to something more? How do we achieve pleasure in an activity unless the activity has it’s own aims? How do we find the best person for the job?
Now this is not to whitewash all kinds of conscious and unconscious bias, historical injustices, and subjective performance metrics. This is to say that these inequities are about unequal compensation and recognition. If we are different but equal we can reduce wage gaps while allowing the best person to do the hardest job.
For instance Katherine Johnson the black female mathematician who was featured on the recent movie Hidden Figures. Katherine routinely broke socioeconomic and class barriers due to high performance in mathematics. Her story is an example of a high-performing individual who was impacted by bias, injustice, and subjective evaluations. But she merited access to training, acknowledgement, and the chance to solve hard problems. Different but equal.
In Katherine’s words: “I don’t have a feeling of inferiority, never had. I’m as good as anybody, but no better.”
If the US is really a meritocracy we need to be willing to acknowledge merit where its found, not pretend it doesn’t exist.
different but equal at work
This doesn't mean we need to worship people of high performance or high achievement. It means we need to let them show us new horizons.
When I watch Wayne Gretzky play hockey, it redefines for me how hockey players move and how goals are scored. (He’s not always so imposing, I once sat by him in an airplane and was surprised to learn that the Phoenix Coyotes' were NOT a group of very tall investment bankers. Hey, they wore suits to travel and popular culture is my handicap :)
When I see someone of high intellectual aptitude, I don’t hope that they the same as me. I hope that they can teach me something, or that they are interested in using their abilities to tackle new scientific and societal horizons.
Solutions come from outside the box thinking, unique experiences, and genetically abnormal mentation. Do we really need everyone to be the same? Can't we all be different but equal?
If you have a hard problem, or you have a savant, and you need a matchmaker, please let me know.
#delinquentsavants #todreamalife #neurodiversity #equity
